Live Oak Brewing Company Beers is Vegan Friendly

by Live Oak Brewing Company
Address: 3301-B East 5th Street,
Austin, TX
Phone: (512) 385-2299
Checked by: Mel
Double checked by:
Added: almost 13 years ago

Company Email:
"We use water, malt and hops as ingredients, that's it.

However, in the interest of full-disclosure, I should admit that we enslave over 50 trillion of our fellow eukaryotes for every batch of beer that we make.
By demanding submission of our domestic vessel vassals we are ignoring their rich cultural heritage - their aboriginal chemical language, traditional spontaneous fermentation dances, their perpetually effervescent personalities.
We have even co-opted the subtle use of language to justify their exploitation. Their very name, Saccharomyces cerevisiae, would have one believe that God's original purpose was to have them ferment beer for us. We have foisted upon them the Latin moniker as if by appending "beer" to their name somehow justifies their unpaid servitude in thousands of fermentation vessels around the world. In reality, this is just the muticellular-chauvinist elite imposing their world view on the corporeally challenged who are unable to vocalize their ancient physio-chemical intercellular communication to our non-hearing ears. "Whats that? Speak up, unicells! Tired of the same ol' maltose, maltose, maltose, day in, day out?! Krebs cycle, CTA, alcohol dehydrogenation, transamination... Get to work!"
And for what? To be heaped on spent grain like so much kettle trub? Fed to ruminants...?
We don't give a second thought to the suffering of 12x10E6 cells/ml, no, make that, souls/ml. I think that says more about us than them. Long before our ethanol infused frat parties or Grecian bacchanalias, or even Egyptian hieroglyphic get-togethers, there were hard working yeasts just trying to scrap together a couple of extra NADHs to feed the buds. And we come along and exploit their masses for our own decadent desires.
I guess if they are really lucky they could end up in a jar of Vegemite. Did anyone see Soylent Green? Brewers sicken me. I sicken myself, I quit!
I'm moving to Hollywood and making a movie. Atabar - the story of an enslaved culture of single celled eukaryotes and their struggle to defend their way of life against the encroaching demands of the capitalist beer barons who enslave them. Think: Fantastic Voyage meets Dances With Wolves and Beer Fest. ☺"

Editor's note:
"Eukarotes are organisms with a certain cell type, which includes yeast, plants, and humans. Basically non-bacteria lifeforms, so everything in beer except for the water. And yes, I looked it up. Biology was never a strong point for me, even before I heard about dissection."